Maintaining Adult Friendships Is Ghetto
Sustaining adult friendships is hard.
Friends are an important part of any person’s life, and women in particular rely on their friends to help them through different seasons in life. However, maintaining long-lasting friendships as an adult can be a bit ghetto. Especially when you’re busy with the demands of work, family, and all the other things on your never ending to-do list. Women of color have unique experiences that I feel requires us to have a certain kinda friend in our life to hold us down & finding communities where we feel comfortable can be even more difficult. As we grow older, the quality and quantity of our interactions with other women decreases. There are many reasons for this, including changing careers, having children at different ages, etc.
It is so important to maintain contact with your friends by staying in touch even if you don't talk often or by catching up when you can. It may take some effort but it is worth it! I enjoy hearing from all of my friends- old and new- Just because they thought of me. Finding the time to invest in a friendship can be difficult, but investing in the right friendship not only benefits you, but your friend as well.
How to create & maintain adult friendships:
1) Make time for friends, Sis. Plan intentional outings and make sure to get out with friends regularly. If this isn’t possible physically try a virtual girls night in.
2) Stay up-to-date on your friend's life. Ask about their job, kids, etc., to show interest and keep the relationship strong.
3) Keep the conversation going! Calling, texting, or emailing are all great ways to stay connected with friends. They don’t have to be in-depth conversations either. Just a quick What’s up? can work wonders for your relationship!
4) Keep the communication open and honest, but try not to overwhelm your friend with too many questions about her life.
5) Remember that it’s okay if she doesn’t respond right away, people are living real lives with real things going on, so don’t create crazy scenarios as to why she hasn’t responded as fast as you would like.
Friendships are a valuable resource. I can't tell you how many times my friends have been there for me during difficult moments, or how many times a friend has recommended me for an opportunity that I would have never been considered for. I can tell you that being there for them has also helped me through tough times. It's the power of reciprocity. You must give as much as you take from your friends because the more energy that’s exchanged creates a strong bond. All in all, while maintaining friendships is ghetto, trying to do life alone is even more ghetto, so do the work to maintain your friendships….everybody ain’t replaceable, Sis.
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