3 Ideas For Self-Care The Simone Biles Way
Before we dive in let’s make one thing crystal clear. This isn’t one of those Kumbaya ideas for self-care posts about drawing yourself a bubble bath, lighting some candles, and pouring yourself a glass of wine.
Don’t get me wrong. There is certainly a time and a place for allathat but self-care is about more than just treating yourself to a day of pampering once in a while. Take it from our good sis Simone Biles. Self-care for her meant walking away from arguably one of the largest events in the world while simultaneously deserting her peers and country.
Wheeew Chile!
Now that’s a lot but it got me thinking. How many times had I wanted to flee from an environment I knew no longer served me only to stay out of some pitiful need to satisfy other people's expectations for me?
Being a black woman may be lit *hair flips in black girl magic* but heavy lies the crown atop our expertly curated coils. We face unrelenting pressure day in and day out from society; from our employers; hell even from our own households.
It’s teeeeew much. For the sake of self-preservation, at some point, you just gotta channel your inner Kanye and get nonchalant! If you have found yourself at that critical junction, consider following these 3 tips to regather your edges.
Say Yes By Saying No
This may seem counterintuitive, but by saying no to someone else's request of you, you are saying yes to your own desires. We have to start prioritizing our own needs first. I know you’ve heard the expression “you can’t pour from an empty cup” a million times, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe your cup is already too full?
Some of our cups are collecting so many expectations from so many people that we’re running in circles trying to make room. In case you’re still unclear, the issue here isn’t the size of the cup, just the poor management of said cup. Pleasing everyone around you while neglecting yourself is a fast track to burnout and emotional fatigue. Just say NO.
Be Okay With Other People Not Being Okay
Saying no, particularly when you’ve been saying yes for so long, is sure to ruffle some feathers. Make peace with that. The people who’ve been benefiting from your exploitation may try to guilt you back onto that hamster wheel. It’s not always obvious either. A slick passive-aggressive comment about how “you’ve stopped caring lately” may be just the seed needed to cast doubt.
Do not believe the hype. Prioritizing yourself will often have a trickle effect that may lead to you losing some “friends”. More often than not, these people were never really that loyal to you, just loyal to the benefits having access to you provided them. Honey, even our government aint handing out benefits like they used to. Cut them off and move on.
Good Tribe And Good Vibes
Repeat after me: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE. In fact, you should not do this alone. There is so much strength in community and aligning yourself with the right group is the ultimate self-care hack. Having a solid emotional support system means even when you’re falling apart you know you have helped being put back together.
That’s right, good friends aren’t just there for you during the exotic trips and cute Instagram pics. When life inevitably gets hard, you need a select few to ride it out in the trenches with you.
Don’t have a tribe yet? The Inner Circle is a premier social club centered around black girl joy. From brunches to book clubs (and everything in between) the Inner Circle is sure to have you glowing and growing again. Join our waitlist here.
Summary
The greatest gift we receive with maturity is self-awareness. Take a step back and truly assess your life. If your aromatherapy candle and glass of Sauvignon blanc just aren’t doing the trick, it may be time to follow in Simone’s footsteps and distance yourself from the weight of everyone around you. Go reset and bounce back better than ever.
